The Diary of Vaas-Confessions of a Psycopath
by mosleyset2
Summary: Hello, I am Vaas, and i will start of by telling you, if you have no insanity, shove your dick up you ass and leave, because your not welcome. Come and take a stay with me, the smart and sexy Vaas as you read and learn the life of me, Vaas. Also, if you think your allowed here because you have slim pint of insanity, I would say SHUT THE FUCK UP and dwelve into the insanity with us.
1. Diary entree 1 meeting Vaas

Hello, my name is Vaas, and well this is my new diary.

Well some person who ended up stumbling onto my island was carrying this book and was kind enough to give the book to me with there arms. Sadly, i couldnt read the first confessions because there blood got all over it, but dont worry, there going to be eating there arms and legs soon.

Where should I start. I live on this Island call Rook Island, I command people to do as I say, and I have lots of bitches, plenty of fucking bitches. I'm going to leave you guys on this foot ote for now, I am going to go into my shack and have the ladies suck me ooff as I listen to oprah music

Oh, have I've ever told you the definition of insanity? ;)


	2. Diary entree 2 stupid hoes and explosion

Hello, my zero followers, yes it is I, Vaas, the sexy man alive as many of you are thinking. Anyways, today I had a rough day. While clearing out building in the west side of my island, I was approached by a woman who wanted her family to live. What a stupid bitch. But she said something I enjoyed. She said she would give me, what the women called oral sex. Well, she wasn't pretty, but it sounded like an awesome idea. So I made her do it, and said I would spare her family, obviously joking. She gave me the choking maneuver, but started to bite me. I was like bitch please. So I grabbed her and threw her to the patrol. They took her back to my base, and killed her family. I put there remains in an oven.

COOKING TIME WITH VAAS.

How to make cut up human arm.

To add flavor to your human arm, place salt upon skin and add pepper. Add barbeque into the flesh of the human arm, because barbeque is delicious. Cook in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit, and then lightly coat it in provolone cheese. Time to serve.

I gave stupid bitch her dads arm to eat. She ate it without knowing, and said it was delicious. I looked at her shocked. Cannibal, all I could say. We left her there, and did same recipe but with little brother Timmy's penis. She ate it deep-fried. She at it, and started moaning, out of pure satisfaction. What she said shocked me for life. "Mmm, I love the creamy insides of this, what is this, a Twinkie?" Okay no more keeping fucked up girl.

Dumb hoe woke up attached to rock and started screaming. We told her that we were going to kill her. She said that she would suck all our dicks to live, and I told her your blowjob's suck. We grabbed a whole bunch of frag grenades and got them ready. She looked at us crying. I spoke up to her and said, the first meal I gave you was your father's arm. She looked at us and started vomiting. This was funny to me so I told her about her brother's penis. She looked at me and smiled. She laughed and said. "I always eat my bros dick so I'm used to it." We vomited in return. I look at my men and said, blow this disgusting hoe down. They threw their grenades at her and I pulled out my RPG, and we blew her up, turning away and walking off like badass. Other than that, nothing happened today, just another boring day on Rook Island


	3. Diary entree 3 Twitter

Hello my friendly viewers, it is I, Vaas!

I know you've missed me, after all, it's been almost a whole entire day since i written a new post. That is a fucking long time.

Anyways, going on, ive hit 53 views on my diary, and i know what you're saying, Vaas, you have such a big dick can I suck it? I know that's what you're saying.

So I was all like, "Obviously people are reading my diary after all, Vaas doesn't take no shit."

Anyways, after a long day of torturing McLovin again (Spider on the face FTW) I didn't know what to do today.

I've already let my pet bear feed on some stupid villagers who didn't want to pay land fee, I already practice my knife throwing on one of the soldiers who didn't want to listen to me, and ive gotten the disgusting body parts of hoe bag off the island into the middle of the ocean.

I never want to remember about that hoe... *shudder*

Well, i was so bored, and McLovin passed out from the spider joke, so i was left with one thing, asking the soldiers how they pass their time.

everyone said the same thing.

"Kill People"

surprisingly enough, i didn't want to kill but do something else. Only person with a good idea was a random guy who said there's this thing called "Twitter"

Goodness gracious, this doesn't seem fun.

Tried it out, and shit didn't go well. For starters, the cover of my diary is my profile picture, and people keep talking sit on how I look.

well, its okay. after all, I sent explosives to there addresses. Only take twenty to thirty business days, and Kaboom!

anyways, Twitter didn't go out well, said that posting inappropriate pictures weren't allowed.

Sheesh, didn't know a picture of me decapitating a woman with a butter knife was really that inappropriate.

Well, im done for today, I'll write back something tomorrow, I have hoes to spend and money to fuck. Wait...


	4. Diary entree 4 Nothing to do

I know you missed me, give me a kiss on the dick.

Yes it is I Vaas, sorry about not posting yesterday, I had issues with a certain someone... and well, they wont talk shit anymore.

so how you guys doing, ive been recently typing out my diary entree when interesting shit happens and well... nothing happened.

None of my soldiers got killed.

No hoes got exploded.

People are happy.

This saddens me, this makes me a very sad man.

I don't know what to do!

Should I go out to the beach, and find any new visitors and torture them?

Should I go and hunt down some animals.

I don't know, but this is where i will close for today.

Alright, stay insane as usual.

Also don't get sucked by nasty hoe

*Shudders*


	5. Diary Entree 5 Blood Dragon

Hello fuckers, it is I Vaas!

Sorry about the whole time being gone, the internet guy decided not to work on keeping internet onto the island.

He said, after the glass in his drink plan that he didnt want to deal with my bullshit.

He had to be the biggest bitch ive ever met.

It was only a chunk of glass in your throat, get over it you fucking bitch.

Anways going on. People messaged me, specifically a person named MoonQueenSeleneTheManiacMQSTM, They wrote me saying.

"Vaas can i come to your island?"

My reply is, go ahead, be a dumbass and buy plane tickets, fly over the sea and skydive or take a boat to my island. Be the next dumbass.

Just kidding, your always welcomed, but if you're a female, be cautious, you kmay be sold to the brothel.

Going on, someone emailed me a video of a new game tat came out called, Far Cry 3, blood dragon. i watched it, sober. Shit, i had to smoke two rolls of dope and a bottle of cheap handmade beer to finally comprehend, well... nothing.

Fucking games weird to me. Robots on island, bow and arrows, and shit. Im a man in my twenties, so shit from 80's dont register, besides, cable wasnt here back then, we only have shit internet at the moment because we killed a man for this box shit called the Verizon MyWi.

I dont even know what the fuck a Verizon is, but is says My, so i want it.

What else, oh bought a new rifle called the Bushman.

Shit costed a few thousand off the old hag, but the shit was worth it.

Also put more protection around the jungle. Gotta protect my weed dog.

Anyways, thank you new follower, and I think I'm going to get off now.

I'm going to go and roll me a good one.

Also, I think I might write about my litte, hunting experience.


	6. Diary entree 6: Mosleyset2

So, for any viewers missing me, I am sorry about my disappearance, some bitch named Jason Brody or as I call him, Snow White, has been being a major dick in the ass, so these post will be short.

Played some of that new Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, and as I'll tell you here and now, I want the shit they be smoking, injecting, rubbing I dont give a fuck give it to me now.

Games weird, but other than that, I don't even know how to explain.

Also, I've heard about a story writer by the name of Mosleyset2. Ya that weird looking creepy looking mothafucka. Ya I've been messaging him, and I am PISSED THE FUCK OFF!

He's been posting my fucing diary on the fucking internet. He told me I could post it on this site so people can read it, and put it in my name.

Fucking two months later, I don't get any views on my website, , yet he has a follower for posting the shit I already write!

WHAT THE FUCK!

I'm going to stab the shit out of that bitch boy.

Anyways that's the rest I have to say.

Fuck Mosleyset2.

Blood Dragon was made by people high off of crystal meth and heroine mixed with coke.

Breaking Bad is a badass show.

Your mothers pussy smells like dried up piss.

Have a good day my followers.

Fucking mosleyset2 though...


	7. Diary entree 7: Chinese Internet

What the fuck I Finally found the Bastard copy pasting my shit and I got him on this island, and I have to fucking torture him to actually get the code for his account. So many months passed and now I forgot the code, so now I will use his account to update.

Hello fuckers who read this, yes it is me Vaas, and I've been very pissy lately.

little shithead named mosleyset2 (Fucking stupid as hell name) finally gave me his code. Threw him onto a wooden boat and set him on fire. Should of seen the look on his face!

He was all like "You said I could leave!" and I was all like "HAHAHAHAHHAHA BITCH!"

anyways going on. Status report. still got my coke. We hit such a stock load we start to cut the open up in trees and letting them fall down. Then one of use gets a whole bunch of hamburger meat and reenact American Christmas, without all the stupid shit like gifts and shit.

By the way, stealing internet off of a sunken submarine carrying its own connection connected to the Chinese border isn't the greatest thing.

Can't use Google so we have to use Bing (Really? BING!) and also I keep getting messages saying that I cant connect to some sites because of fucking limitation. the fuck if I cant watch my tentacle porn I don't know what I will do with myself!

Anyways if I haven't posted back in over two weeks, its probably because Chinese are storming this place. All I have to say is

Vaas tip. if your going to do drugs, do coke. Feels like snorting them bitch ass pixie sticks kids be doing but it feels better, side tip don't do Heroine. Feels like rat poisoning going down your arm and is a bitch when you end up thinking your cock is a flying snake from hell.


End file.
